![]() ![]() Casual, open replies, words marching out in a unpracticed careful order, pausing for gravitas, laughing for levity.Īn hour, two. Cautious, well-intentioned, thought-out queries offered in a weighted, soft voice. Both of us draped over a standard-issue blue lobby armchair or leaning over a plate of chicken and potatoes in the crowded meal hall. “Are you in the oppressed studies class?”Īlways the same meetings. More often long brown or blond hair, neither curly nor straight, and meek, feminine smiles over chunky sweaters and black leggings with strappy brown sandals.Īlways the same tentative, almost-apologetic question. Sometimes close-cropped brown hair on beige chiseled heads over t-shirts or polos and flat-front or Bermuda shorts. Young, white, dressed in a cross between traditional Christian modesty and modern indie hipster. The students who approached me all looked the same. I was the voice of a silenced piecemeal family, at least a dozen individuals out to me with plenty more I knew existed but never met. I was president of “the gender and sexuality discussion group,” the “closest thing we have to a queer group,” not (allowed to be) a club. ![]() I came out to friends and family and pastors, then to blog readers, then to people at my college, until three years later I graduated as both the most and the only out queer on campus. I came out as bisexual in 2015, my freshman-to-sophomore year of college. ![]() We’re friends again.īut for a moment, in her eyes, I was hero. We’re instant friends, with so much of life in common, so many kindred stories to share right from the start. The woman speaking to me sits, gesturing to her children and her husband as she says their names. People gather around the donut tray, the coffee pot, the folding chairs. The little room is lit with bright fluorescents, framed by windows, filled with identical white plastic and metal tables. She, like so many friends and faculty and students and coworkers, admired my bravery. This weekend I told a new friend about my life as a bisexual de-facto leader at my Christian university. ![]()
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